Week 3

This week has been crazy! I've learned so much and felt the spirit so much and struggled so much and excelled so much! It's crazy how so many things can happen in a week and that when I come to type them all out, I forget literally everything hahaha.

So I started out the week still sick from my cold, but it slowly got better and I was able to focus again which was such a blessing. However, I started getting so sleepy during class! It was so frustrating because I was going to bed by 10:30 and getting up at 6:30 so I should have had enough sleep, but I kept falling asleep in the middle of class and I would have to get up and do jumping jacks in the hall whilst earnestly praying that I could stay awake!

I feel like I was far too prideful and self-centered this past week. Ever since Friday, which was when I had my last teaching appointment at the MTC, I have run out of things to do. I got about 3 hours of personal study in because there was a lack of things to go to and plan for. I tried my best to stay diligent all the time, even when we didn't really have anything planned, but the rest of my district did not. They would goof off and play games while I tried to study haha. I should have helped them realize that they should study or work too, but I was too focused on myself. I also was getting to prideful in my teaching. I have been blessed with a great ability to talk to others, and I started thinking that that ability would help me excel in lessons. I was wrong. It is not I that excels in lessons. It is the Spirit that helps me teach so that the Holy Ghost can witness the truth. I still have a lot to learn about my pride and giving glory to God. He has blessed me with so much, yet I still feel so imperfect. It's easy to get discouraged when thinking like this and I was thoroughly humbled in my class last night, which didn't help with the discouragement.

Whenever I get discouraged though I think of this scripture: "For we labor diligently to write, to persuade our children, and also our brethren, to believe in Christ, and to be reconciled to God; for we know that it is by grace that we are saved, after all we can do."(2 Nephi 25:23)
I know that God will make up the difference as long as I am trying my hardest, and, for one of the first times in my life, I can honestly say, I am doing all that I can and trying as hard as I can try.

I am excited to go out and serve people! I want so desperately to be able to have real people who I can get to know, love, and teach. I want to work with the Bishop and members as well as working with non-members and less actives. I've been learning about the incredible importance of missionary work within the ward. Basically, there comes a point where the missionary has to rely on Members to help foster in and care for new people.

Speaking of real people, the sisters have invited Jose to be baptized!! And he said Yes!!! He was so excited and he was saying how he wants to know what he needs to do next hahaha. I love that guy so much and am so happy that he is accepting the gospel!

Next week I will be out in the field!! Wish me luck!!

Elder Francis

Week 2

Hello all you beautiful people!

Since last Wednesday, I have gotten more and more sick... I have a bad chest cold which, with my asthma, kinda really sucks haha. I get tired so fast. And, even though I want to run and keep in shape but it is so much harder when I am sick hahaha. Slowly the cold moved from my chest to my head and so now I've been getting super bad headaches. But what can you do hahaha.

Today, I want to talk about Jose (pronounced ho-zay). At the MTC we get to practice teaching real people (they are mostly actors but a few of them are real non-members). These people work at the Training Resource Center, TRC for short. Anyway, as part of the training we have to go and "find" the person we teach which really just involves us walking into a courtyard full of people who are trying to act casual. This was all last week by the way.

The first person we say happened to be Jose and so we went up and talked to him. We had an instant connection and he shared some of the struggles of his life. He is an amazing person who has been struggling with insomnia and severe anxiety. Planning lessons for him was so hard because both me and Elder Harper felt very little inspiration from the spirit except to tell us to not teach something haha.

The first lesson we decided to teach him about God's love for him and it was good. We ended up showing him a video and he told us that the video was exactly what he needed. The second lesson we felt impressed to teach the plan of salvation, but as we got in there, we felt wrong about it and so we taught about forgiveness. He told us that that was exactly what he needed. He had been hurt by so many people in the past and he really needed to forgive them. The third and last lesson for the training was the hardest to prepare... We had absolutely no idea what to teach him. We ended up feeling that we should talk to him about patience in our trials.

When we started the meeting, after the Prayer, I simple asked "so from what I know about anxiety there are triggers, so what are some of your triggers?" And he started to get emotional and said "You are the first person to ask me that and to truly care" we abandoned the lesson and just talked to him for the whole 30 minute time that we had. He explained to us that each time we've met with him we gave him exactly what he had needed most and that we taught him that there are people that truly care about what him. He explained that he's been able to open up to us better than any therapist he's ever had.

It was heart renching because it was our last lesson and both me and Elder Harper wanted to stay and help him more... but we had to tell him that this would be our last meeting and that he would be getting some new missionaries and they would pick up where we left off. He was visibly distraught but we assured him that it wasn't us that had helped him but the Lord that had guided us to him. Before we left, he asked if he could take a picture with us so that he would always remember the people who had helped him so much.

During that last meeting, Jose had told us that his insomnia had gone away and he was now off most of his meds because he didn't need them anymore. He told us that he had been looking forward to talking with us each day.

This week, the sisters in my district were able to snag him as their TRC person... they have been telling us that he has been able to open up to them and he actually asked them if they could get him a book of Mormon which means that the work continues and that he wanted to followed our final invitation for him which was to read the book of Mormon. Jose might have been one of the actual non-members And we were able to help him.

I know that God loves all of his children and I'm so glad that he was able to use me to show his children of his love. It really reignited me desperate want to get out into the field and teach God's children. Sure, I am still far from a perfect teacher, or a perfect anything for that matter, but I'm putting in my best and I know that he will be able to make up the difference and use me however he sees fit.

First week

So many things have happened this week that it's impossible for me to write it all down hahaha. I have changed so much and grown to love those around me so much more. I realized very quickly how unprepared and inexperienced I truly was. My first few days were incredibly stressful and then I felt like I was starting to pick it up. Embarrassingly enough my biggest concern the first few days was where I was going to go to the bathroom hahaha! I quickly realized that that was a very self centered and silly concern. The first few days were incredible dull with most of the classes and workshops being on the rules. Regrettably, I didn't pay as much attention as I could have because I was being too prideful. There is so many things I have yet to learn and so many attributes I could do better on. I was beginning to think that I could handle everything that was thrown my way and my stress level was dropping to a comfortable position.

This should have been my first red flag, for right as I get comfortable I get called as the District Leader for my district hahaha! I became more stressed at first with more and more responsibilities piling onto my already high list of things to do, when I realized that I needed to stop looking inward and start looking outward.

There are so many missionaries in my district who need help. Each of them are struggling with their own personal imperfections and stressed that I shouldn't be worried about my own struggles but see what I can do to help them. Whenever I start thinking about my own pains or stresses, I think of what I can do to help someone else in my class learn and feel the spirit better.

I am constantly trying to change my many many negative attributes, however, I know that I'll be doing that for the rest of my life hahaha so I don't get stressed over failure. It's interesting in that each day I feel a new problem or stress presented to me, something that I had never experienced before, and then Heavenly Father provides a way for me to overcome each new struggle. My testimony is growing so much and I am learning so much more about who I need to be in order to bring as many people as possible (both members and non-members) unto Christ.

I'll be honest, I still think about home and all my friends a lot... but whenever I do some new thing always pops up that I have to focus on which takes my mind off of it. It really reveals to me God's perfect love and knowledge of me and what I need to overcome all of the small problems that I blow way put of proportion.

My companion, Elder Harper, is amazing. He is really shy and needs to work on that but he's opened up to me and we get along fairly well. I think it's because I am willing to compromise in almost every activity and he is willing to work hard to become a good missionary. Really my whole district is so amazing. They are all so spiritual and have helped me grow so much. My dorm mates are super chill... most of the time hahaha. They have a tendency to talk late into the night but one of them gave me some earplugs and now I sleep like a baby.

I have been trying to eat as healthy as possible and have good exercise. I've already shrunk my stomach just by limiting my portion sizes. So far I've lost about 6 pounds just by doing things that my parents always told me to do but I never did hahaha.

My biggest problem is that I don't have enough time. There are so many things to get done in a day, and even when I schedule everything out perfectly I always miss or forget something. It also doesn't help that some of the other elders are really slow getting ready and walking to the next activity. It's frustrating at times because I want to be able to get as much done and be as productive as possible, but I have to have patience and let them go at their own pace. 

I am excited to continue learning at the MTC but I am far more excited to get out and love the people of Saint George. Each day feels so long and yet so short. As I seem to say it to myself all the time I guess I'll tell it to you all. Weeks have felt like days and days have felt like weeks... but it's been so amazing and I've loved it so much. It's been hard... but it's been worth it.