First week

So many things have happened this week that it's impossible for me to write it all down hahaha. I have changed so much and grown to love those around me so much more. I realized very quickly how unprepared and inexperienced I truly was. My first few days were incredibly stressful and then I felt like I was starting to pick it up. Embarrassingly enough my biggest concern the first few days was where I was going to go to the bathroom hahaha! I quickly realized that that was a very self centered and silly concern. The first few days were incredible dull with most of the classes and workshops being on the rules. Regrettably, I didn't pay as much attention as I could have because I was being too prideful. There is so many things I have yet to learn and so many attributes I could do better on. I was beginning to think that I could handle everything that was thrown my way and my stress level was dropping to a comfortable position.

This should have been my first red flag, for right as I get comfortable I get called as the District Leader for my district hahaha! I became more stressed at first with more and more responsibilities piling onto my already high list of things to do, when I realized that I needed to stop looking inward and start looking outward.

There are so many missionaries in my district who need help. Each of them are struggling with their own personal imperfections and stressed that I shouldn't be worried about my own struggles but see what I can do to help them. Whenever I start thinking about my own pains or stresses, I think of what I can do to help someone else in my class learn and feel the spirit better.

I am constantly trying to change my many many negative attributes, however, I know that I'll be doing that for the rest of my life hahaha so I don't get stressed over failure. It's interesting in that each day I feel a new problem or stress presented to me, something that I had never experienced before, and then Heavenly Father provides a way for me to overcome each new struggle. My testimony is growing so much and I am learning so much more about who I need to be in order to bring as many people as possible (both members and non-members) unto Christ.

I'll be honest, I still think about home and all my friends a lot... but whenever I do some new thing always pops up that I have to focus on which takes my mind off of it. It really reveals to me God's perfect love and knowledge of me and what I need to overcome all of the small problems that I blow way put of proportion.

My companion, Elder Harper, is amazing. He is really shy and needs to work on that but he's opened up to me and we get along fairly well. I think it's because I am willing to compromise in almost every activity and he is willing to work hard to become a good missionary. Really my whole district is so amazing. They are all so spiritual and have helped me grow so much. My dorm mates are super chill... most of the time hahaha. They have a tendency to talk late into the night but one of them gave me some earplugs and now I sleep like a baby.

I have been trying to eat as healthy as possible and have good exercise. I've already shrunk my stomach just by limiting my portion sizes. So far I've lost about 6 pounds just by doing things that my parents always told me to do but I never did hahaha.

My biggest problem is that I don't have enough time. There are so many things to get done in a day, and even when I schedule everything out perfectly I always miss or forget something. It also doesn't help that some of the other elders are really slow getting ready and walking to the next activity. It's frustrating at times because I want to be able to get as much done and be as productive as possible, but I have to have patience and let them go at their own pace. 

I am excited to continue learning at the MTC but I am far more excited to get out and love the people of Saint George. Each day feels so long and yet so short. As I seem to say it to myself all the time I guess I'll tell it to you all. Weeks have felt like days and days have felt like weeks... but it's been so amazing and I've loved it so much. It's been hard... but it's been worth it.